The Eighteen
He grew eighteen and just like rest of the adults he too
started getting the physicalurges; urges he neither could refrain from nor
could perform freely. He was in deep trouble with some confusing questions. Is
it right to think of naked pictures? Is it right to watch videos our society
has abstained from? Is it right to be an intoxicated?Amongst these, however was
the most intimidating one. Is it right to think of sex?
Now the scenario was that he couldn’t ask these questions
from his parents. Not because they could not answer him but for the reason that
they couldn’t expect such questions in that age from their decent son. They
look for questions related to carrier, money and fame; not sex. Because sex,
which is the base of everybody’s existence was consideredfilthy in his society.
“Is it shame, sin, or normal to think of such things and performing what our
body demands?” his question remained unanswered for a long time.
“This is the last time I would watch this”, was always the thought
before typing the URL his society had abandoned.Whenever he watchedsuch videos;
following the videos was a bundle of guilty thoughts, thoughts of resentment.
As mentioned in the book ‘Three Daughters of Eve’ he too was the believer, the
sinner and the confused. And now neither was he satisfied by performing the
urges nor by abstaining them. Whenever he watched an Islamic preacher, he
judged these acts as sins, thought of hell, feared it and stopped himself from
performing the urges. But hearing to a secular speakerconsidering them normal,
as just a need of our body, he got satisfied whenever he performed them.
With the passage of time however, due to his observatory
skills and continuous questions he got the real thing. Here is what he
concluded. “What we do with our body is our action and none of the action can
be considered as bad or good without revealing the intention that is following
the act. If we started doing everything for the pleasure, then somewhere in
between we have to stop the flow. Somewhere we have to say, ‘okay fine, now
stop here’. But making pleasure the priority we can’t help thinking of pictures
we always want to erase, performing the urges we want to stop and watching the
videos we don’t want on our screens; thinking what we don’t want to think. If
the purpose is need. Then there is no as such thing as guilt and shame. Just
like the need of eating and drinking our body has other needs as well.Those who
eat for pleasure are dull and those who eat for need are physically active.
Hence,if we make the need a priority then we can understand what to do and what
not to do, on the basis of the requirement of our body.”
“Thought of a toilet is not negative and that of flower is
not positive. These are just a varieties of thoughts. We don’t stink our mind
with the thought of a toilet and don’t purify it with that of a flower. But
trying to erase one thought and maintaining the other, we stink our mind either
way. If we think with this discrimination; we are the sinner, the believer and
the confused. Instead, if we think rationally, considering the intention that
is following the thought we are carrying and working on our need rather than
thinking what not to think. Then we are the freed, the relieved and the
understood.”
One day, he went through another expertly experience. He saw
a man throwing a cigarette’s empty pack into a tunnel saying, “This was the
last pack. I will never smoke again.” The boy moved on uttering the words, gently
smiling: “Every pleasure is acquired by the thought of not doing it again.” He
continued,“If we are the sinner, then we fist think of not following the
pleasure, follow it later and regret following it afterwards. And then keep
revolving in a loop. Instead if we are the freed, we see whether the thing we
are doing is the need or just for the pleasure and act accordingly.”
